Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss

"筆者は元FBIの交渉人で、米国内外の人質事件の対応に当たった。各章に本人が関わった、或いはFBIとして関わった有名事件の交渉現場が登場する。全てが成功裡に解決した事件だけでなく、不幸にして被害者を出した事件もあるが、それらの経験を踏まえて筆者の交渉術は研ぎ澄まされていく。交渉はこちらが語るよりも相手の云うことを聞くという「アクティブ・リスニング」の重要性が繰り返し語られる。「ミラーリング」によって相手の言葉をくり返す手法、「戦術的共感」を使い、感情を見抜き、その感情を相手に向かって繰り返す「ラベリング」、相手の言葉を自分の言葉で繰り返す「言い換え」と「要約」、そして相手から「そのとおりだ」という言葉を引き出す。筆者の置かれて来た環境とは異なるとしても、全ての人に何等かの交渉の「場」と必要性があるとすれば、誰にとっても有益な一冊である." "I tried reading a few books on negotiating in the past. Chris Voss' book is written in a way where his principles and rules are easily

understood, combined with example situations and dialogues. It's not too technical, not too focused on business, but on real situations you can see yourself using the techniques on." "I occasionally saw an interview with Chris Voss on YouTube and it mentioned this book, so I decided to get the book. It turned out this probably the best few quid I have spent in a very long time. I am half way through the book, it took a while to read as I have decided to digest the techniques and to see how effective they are. I have applied mirroring, showing empathy labelling techniques

when I communicating with my daughter and I found I have stopped saying no to her automatically and the relationship has improved since.."

'협상' 전문가가 말해주는 협상이란 무엇이며 일반인의 삶에서 '협상' 이 차지하는 의미를 저자의 다양한 경험과 연구의 결과를 바탕으로 잘 설명해주고 있다. 학구적인 방향에 중심이 있는 책이 아니라 대중적이고 실용적인 방향에서 쓰인 책이다. 실제로 발생했던 사건들을 예시로 하고 있기 때문에 더 흥미로운 거 같다. '협상'이라는 단어에 대해서 다시 생각하게 해주는 기회가 되는 책이다. 좋은 문장들이 많아서 영어공부뿐만 아니라 내용에 있어서도 공부가 되는 책이다. 

- ... As Taleb uses the term, the Black Swan symbolizes the uselessness of predictions based on previous experiences.

- Who has control in a conversation, the guy listening or the guy talking ? Thes listener, of course. That's because the talker is revealing information while the lisntner .... directing the conversation toward his own goals ...

- People will take more risks to avoid a loss than to realize a gain. Make sure your counterpart sees that there is something to lose by inaction.

- Approaching deadlines entice people to rush the negotiating process and do impulsive things that are against their best interests.

- ... while we may use logic to reason ourselves toward a decision, the actual decision making is governed by emotion.

- We don't compromise because it's right ; we compromise because it is easy and because it saves face ...

- Creative solutions are almost always preceded by some degree of risk, annoyance, confusion, and conflict.

- "Is now a bad time to talk ?" is always better than "Do you have a few minutes to talk?"

- "No" is the start of the negotiation, not the end of it.

- ... labeling an emotion - applying rational words to a fear - disrupts its raw intensity.

- We spotted their feelings, turned them into words, and then very calmly and respectfully repeated their emotions back to them. In a negotiation, that's called labeling.

- ... empathy is not about being nice or agreeing with the other side. It's about understading them ...

- Mirrors work magic. Repeat the last three words of what someone has just said .....

- Negotiation is not an act of battle ; it's a process of discovery. The goal is to uncover as much information as possible.

- The language of negotiation is primarily a language of conversation and rapport ...

- .......... being right isn't the key to a successful negotiation ... having the right mindset ....

- We fear what's different and are drawn to what's similar ...

-  ... a smile on your face, and in your voice, will increase your own mental agility.