OPTION B by SHERYL SANDBERG & ADAM GRANT

"レジリエンスについて日本語で読める本は、専門書はいくつかありますが、これだけ読み応えのある一般向けの本は今のところ他にないと思います..." "生きていれば誰しもが経験するである挫折・困難・大切な人を失う悲しみ, に本書のような本が立ち直る勇気をくれると思います" "生きていればだれだって苦難に遭遇する．
そういうとき，考えるべきは「次にどうするか」である．完璧な人生なんてあり得ない．だからみんな、なんらかのかたちの「オプションB」を選ばざるを得ない..." 저자는 "LEAN IN" 의 'Sheryl Sandberg' 이다. 책의 성격은 감정적, 교훈적, 정보적, 자기 암시적인 느낌이다. 저자 개인의 불행은 타인을 좀 더 이해하고 인생의 다양한 어려움을 어떻게 극복해 나갈지를 고민하게 되는 계기가 된 느낌이다. 글의 흐름이 파격적으로 벗어나거나 상식적으로 벗어나는 것을 주장하는 것이 아니기에 그냥 부담없이 읽을 수 있는 책이다. 특히 문장들이 비교적 무난하고 평이해서 영어공부에 도움이 될 수 있다. 저자의 Option B 는 .. "Option B for me means coping with the loss of a spouse ...." 라는 문장을 보면 알 수 있다.

 

- resilience was the capacity to endure pain, so I asked Adam how I could figure out how much I had, He explained that our amount of resilience isn't fixed, so I should be asking instead how I could become resilience. Resilience is the strength and speed of our response to adversity ...

- The sad truth is that adversity is not evenly distributed among us ; marginalized and disenfranchised groups have more to battle and more to grieve.

- To fight for change tomorrow we need to build resilience today.

- Looking back over the darkest moments, I can now see that even then there were signs of hope.

- Life is never perfect. We all live some form of Option B.

- After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that three P's can stunt recovery : (1) personalization - the belief that we are at fault ; (2) pervasiveness - the belief that an event will affect all areas of our life ; and (3) permanence - the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever ....

- Hundreds of studies have shown that children and adults recover more quickly when they realize that hardships aren't entirely their fault, don't affect every aspect of their lives .......

- Studies of "affective forecasting" - our predictions of how we'll feel in the future - reveal that we tend to overestimate how long negative events will affect us. People also overestimate the negative impact of other stressful events.

- No matter how sad I felt, another break would eventually come. It helped me regain a sense of congtrol.

- While life includes some joyful moments, despite our attempts to make them last, they too will dissolve.

- It was a good idea to think about how much worse things could be.

- Acknowledging blessings can be a blessing in and of itself.  Counting blessings can actually increase happiness and health by reminding us of the good things in life.

- Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. It comes from gratitude for what's good in our lives and from leaning in to the suck. It comes from analyzing how we process grief and from simply accepting that grief.

- If your ankle gets shattered, people ask to hear the story. If your life gets shattered, they don't.

- Avoiding feelings isn't the same as protecting feelings.

- Psychologists coined the term "mum effect" for when people avoid sharing bad news.

- The Golden Rule ; treat others as you want to be treated.

- The Platinum Rule ; treat others as they want to be treated.

- In the face of loss, we're supposed to start in denial and move to anger, then to bargaining and depression. only after we pass through these four stages can we find acceptance.

- Self-compassion is associated with greater happiness and satisfaction, fewer emotional difficulties, and less anxiety.

- Among college students, the shame-prone were more likely than the guilt-prone to have drug and alcohol problems.

- Writing to others - and to herself - turned out to be key to Catherine's ability to rebound.

- Turning feelings into words can help us process and overcome adversity.

- Self-confidence is critical to happiness and success.

- Philosopher Soren Kierkegarrd said that life can only be understood backward but it must be lived forward. Journaling helped me make sense of the past and rebuild my self-confidence to navigate the present and future.

- Viktor Frankl observed, "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."

- Post-traumatic growth could take five different forms : finding personal strength, gaining appreciation, forming deeper relationships, discovering more meaning in life, and seeing new possibilities.

- Nietzsche ; What does not kill me makes me stronger.

- He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how ....

- Viktor Frankl's words, "In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning."

- A day of joy is fifteen minutes. A day of pain is fifteen years.

- Building resilience depends on the opportunities children have and the relationships they form with parents, caregivers, teachers, and friends. We can start by helping children develop four core beliefs : (1) they have some control over their lives ; (2) they can learn from failure ; (3) they matter as human beings ;(4) they have real strengths to rely on and share.

- "Nostalgia" comes from the Greek words nostos and algos, which mean "return" and "pain." Nostalgia is literally the suffering that we feel when we yearn for the past to come .....

- Not only do we learn more failure than success, we learn more from bigger failures because we scrutinize them more closely.

- We all have blind spots - weakness that other people see but we don't. one of the best ways to see ourselves clearly is to ask others to hold up a mirror.

- Because baseball is built on failure. The old ｅxpression is that even the best hitter fails seven out of ten times.